It’s My Birthday, I’ll Smile if I Want to!
approx. 4 min. read
February is my favorite time of year. I love the energy of Valentine’s Day and Black History Month mixed with the fresh inspiration of the new year. With my birthday at the beginning of February, I always plan the festivities months prior, ensuring I enjoy my special day. Making reservations and creating itineraries highlights responsibility and clarity, but accomplishing those tasks won’t always prevent things from going awry. One birthday, my reserved table was canceled as I was en route to the restaurant. On another birthday, my guests arrived later than expected. Of course, these were disappointing moments, but I refused to let them ruin my night. There are plenty of restaurants to visit in the city. And while my guests were late, that created more time to take pictures of myself. I could’ve been bitter or melancholic, but why choose to be that way? It’s my birthday and I’ll smile if I want to!
On birthdays, we expect our loved ones to express their love for us in a specific way, even if it is as simple as showing up. Though we may not ask for much, we must realize that people do what they want, whether it’s right or wrong. They have their own lives, their own weaknesses, and their own priorities, and that has nothing to do with you! You have the choice to smile or cry and surely you won’t see me crying on my birthday because of something I can not control.
Each year, I plan to celebrate with my loved ones, but I also make time to celebrate myself, by myself. I enjoy doing nice things alone. I’m not rushed or waiting on anyone. I don’t have to check on people to see how they are feeling. The day is truly about me and no one else. So if something goes wrong one night, there’s still another time planned to celebrate. A friend recently ranted to me about how their birthday was a disaster and how disappointed they were with their loved one. After expressing their frustration, they followed up and told me they planned a whole “do-over” weekend to have the celebration they deserved!
What a beautiful way to exercise your power! Don’t settle for disappointment! Give yourself the experience you deserve!
You can give yourself what you need! Yes, everyone needs love outside of themselves, but how do you cater to yourself in the meantime? After you cry about not being asked out for Valentine’s Day, what are you doing? Days after your birthday was ruined, what are you doing? Collect yourself! Regroup! Or you will become a victim with nothing more than a sob story to cling to. I truly believe the more you care for yourself, the more love will come to you.
“The revolution is in your mind”
We have way more control than we give ourselves credit for. Though our circumstances are suffocating and seemingly unavoidable, we have the choice to plan and take small steps to move toward our dreams. We have the privilege to set aside time to breathe, to write, to ask for support. We have the privilege to walk away from toxicity and move toward stability. In your impossible situation, you must try to change your mind. You must try to shift into the person you want to be. It starts with yourself and no one can do it for you.
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